I have been trying hard to not let my situation get to me but it has. As the list of what is making me unhappy at work grows so do my feelings of frustration and my stress levels increase.
I have been writing but my time is limited because of the kitten and his need for constant attention, just like a little kid. That takes away my feeling of home being my refuge.
Today I wrote almost a thousand words yet I feel unfulfilled. I feel like it was forced. I edited a short item I wrote and entered them. Again, it feels forced.
I managed to win Camp NaNoWriMo with 20,000 words but considering I had 13,000 or so of those words done before July 10th it took me over two weeks to finish… so unacceptable in my mind.
I have also been managing to get headaches daily, again. I’m supposed to be walking which is easier said than done. Unfortunately the weather is not cooperating for that nor is the location of my home. Not really conducive to walking around here. I would have to drive somewhere to walk which doesn’t entirely make sense but there it is!
I just can’t believe that my job has come to this. I just can’t believe that he can be the way he is and how some patients can be the way they are. Up until a few days ago I was asking myself if it was just me and it took some thinking to determine that it was two or three years ago when I first heard my great boss say he was getting tired of the C-R-A-P and I agreed, fully. Demands were higher, people want everything yesterday, they want to argue with you. They hate the system and the wait times. The list goes on and on. I thought the transition would make things better but it has not. It has, however, brought to light those feelings of being tired of dealing with the C-R-A-P that was spoken of so often. There’s paper everywhere, not enough time in a day and just no patience to deal with the patients.
I will carry on. I always do. Unhappy right now… yes, definitely. Determined to make a change… just as definitely!