Guest Blog…

Tags

blogging, Creative Writing, guest blog, hashtagged.com, health, Life, Writing

I’m keeping it short again… my guest blog post went up yesterday and I wanted to be sure to share it!  I post all these awesome things to my Facebook Author page as well in case you want to follow me there too!

Here’s the link for the new blog post…

http://hashtagged.com.pk/2018/05/08/breast-cancer-screening-mammograms/

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Forward Momentum…

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blogging, changes, Contest, Creative Writing, guest blog, Journal, Life, life change, life coaching, life lessons, move forward, short stories, short story, Writing

Well as much as I feel like I’m sitting still if I step back I see myself being propelled forward, small bits at a time.  I completed a short story in a week and submitted it to a contest last Friday.  They didn’t want it, since I didn’t win, so I’m going to share it here on my blog.  It’s called The Letter and I’ll put it in a second post because it’s about 1200 words.

Either way, winning or losing, I’m excited.

I also finished writing my three guest blogs and now it’s time to get back to some of my own work again… editing, re-writes, fresh writing, etc.

One thing I keep thinking of lately is how much my life has changed in the last 17 months.  How upside down it has all been and everything I have endured.  It has been insane and I listen to some of my patients and realize that, for the most part, very few of them could have come close to handling everything I have!

I like to think my loved ones’ support plays a huge role as does my writing.  I may have ended up with writer’s block for a good part of that time but I was journalling.

Journalling is more important than many of us realize and whether we one day open our journals again and read them or use them for a storyline or try to grasp the emotion to give to a character it’s important.  It’s like, or can be like, free counselling!

I also like to think that as I move into Section Three of the Life Coaching program that aside from enjoying it immensely it is also teaching me things about myself, my reactions and how I deal with it and I have the perfect opportunity to compare myself with many others who couldn’t deal with it.  I can’t wait to get deeper into the program and start practicing but everything takes time and time is limited.

Other than wishing the weather was warmer I’ll end here and go post that story for you.  I hope you like it.  Remember it only took me a week… I only had a week.

Enjoy!

Answers…

Tags

cancer, changes, Creative Writing, Life, NaNoWriMo, reading, surgery, The Writer, time, time off, writing magazines

As you know, I saw the specialist on Wednesday morning.  The specialist who still will not acknowledge the fact that there were malignant cells in what he removed in March.  He went over everything, bypassed my one concern and then said he wanted to wait until February and do yet another of the biopsy procedures.

That’s when I said ‘stop’.  I wanted to discuss surgery as an option.  I have not, up until now, divulged the cancer I had but will now because it’s much easier to tell the story… cervical.  So I asked about a hysterectomy because I’m in my 40s.  Not having any more babies and explained that my anxiety is out of this world and I can’t keep going from procedure to consult to procedure to consult with no real end in site and no answers.

And then what?  When HE determines that everything is okay I spend every year wondering if there are going to be bad cells turning up again?

It’s not worth it.  My family doctor had asked me why they just wouldn’t do the hysterectomy based on those first biopsy results and I explained that the specialist merely told me “we weren’t there yet”.  Well, because of my anxiety, I win… finally!

So, my message to all of you is to keep on pushing when it comes to your health.  Who knows where else cells are hiding!  So on November 16th, that’s where I will be.

Remember my asking when I would have time to read those writing magazines I bought?  Well, here it is!  Except that I did manage to read through The Writer which was very good and left me feeling good about my self-publishing!

I’m sure that by the middle of November there will be new ones out for me to get and read.  It’s also NaNoWriMo so it’ll be interesting to see if I’ll be able to sit and write!

One thing is for certain, there will be a LONG list of things I won’t be able to do and my daughter will HAVE TO step up and do a lot of it!  Laundry, vacuuming, getting the garbage out, etc.  I have a really long list of things I need to do in a month as well.  I’m even hoping to be able to get back to work part-time after two weeks… but the boss is on vacation starting December 14th so I could, essentially, be back off for that time.  We’ll see… it’s unfortunate that I have no idea how I will feel.

I will, of course, be posting between now and then, as usual!  If you haven’t signed up for NaNo yet make that happen!  Take the challenge! Write 50,000 words in 30 days!  You can do it!

“Happy” Easter!

Tags

bring home work, death, Easter, hope, Life, life goes on, reading, surgical procedures, trying to write, Writing

The first holidays after a death in the family are always difficult.  Easter was my great-grandmother’s favourite.  Grandma, I think, loved them all.  My favourite is Christmas.  There’s something about the season that draws me in and lifts my spirits and my hopes.

I can’t believe we said goodbye to my grandma only 2 weeks ago.

So here we are, now, at Easter.  A day that is supposed to bring hope around the world.  We will have a family dinner later today.

It’s amazing how life just keeps on going.  Whether you come out of the hospital doors after having a surgical procedure or you walk out of a nursing home after your grandmother has died and everything and everyone else is carrying on as usual while your life seems like it has come to a screeching halt.

Then you are expected to catch up to that world and carry on with it meanwhile your heart and your mind are left behind.

I had to bring home a folder full of referrals that needed to be done because I was 4 days behind and I could NOT find the time to get them done.  So now they are done and tomorrow morning I can put the phone on hold (or change the answering machine message to say we will be open at 2:15) and go in and print them and fax them.  That doesn’t totally catch me up but it gets me a lot closer!

I continue to journal as it seems to be the only way to try and identify my thoughts and feelings.  It’s interesting that I seem to only be able to do that when I’m alone.  I know that, with great excitement, that he got all the cancer cells out!  Those margins were clear.  I went back and had another look (because I remember seeing something… you know that nagging feeling) and he did leave some of the pre-cancerous cells at the margins.  Uncertain as to what he will suggest but I might get to go through all of this again… but at least I know the horrible monster cells are gone.

I tried writing the last couple of days… even if it’s a bit of an autobiography.  I didn’t really care, I just wanted to dip my toes in.  I actually took a look at 2 of my sequels, well, as far as I had managed to get when I stopped.  The Mystery in the Attic was left at page 123 and the third installment, the book to follow Confessions in the Mural, sits at only 14 pages.  I’m hoping that by reading one or the other that it will stimulate my brain into writing again.

Well, it is Easter, that time of hope… so maybe this time, I can get my mind back into writing.

So I wish you all a safe, Happy Easter wherever you are and wherever you are going today.

Lessons in…

Tags

bumps on the way, lessons, Life, love, politics, Romance, teaching, Writing

Life?
Love?
Politics?

We move through the days and weeks, the months and the years and we learn lessons that we aren’t always conscious of.

It’s amazing how certain things help you to put issues into perspective.

This past Wednesday I taught my first class.  Despite being nervous as hell, I pulled it off.  I have a good group of eager students and it felt great to be back in the classroom again after all these years in this capacity.  Sure, there have been plenty of bumps along the way… that always happens.

Now I face the unknown before I’m back in the classroom.  Less than two months ago I went to the doctor for routine stuff and Tuesday morning I have to have a procedure that will likely consist of a biopsy.  So please at least cross your fingers for me.  As a nurse in family practice I have referred dozens for this and more than 90% come back okay.  My mind keeps straying from one outcome to the opposite outcome completely because, as an author, there is always the what-if?

It’s always there.  Once that is done, I will head back into the classroom and hopefully have just as strong a performance.

That’s life for you!

As for politics… well, we had a lesson this week and each will take our own thoughts to our graves!

Lastly, love… well, it is what it is.  I will continue to write, when I can get back to it, and there will always be romance!  It is what gets us through our days and those moments when we need the most support.

I have been in an incredible amount of pain since Wednesday.  I hope that it’s not a side effect of teaching but a result of the stress that I have been carrying around.  Between the teaching and  the procedure, I could probably be a string on a violin or guitar!  I go to the chiropractor on Wednesday morning so hopefully he will be able to resolve some of my issues because the main stresses will then be gone and it will be a waiting game for the pathology report.

So, fingers crossed.  I have to pack up and go now but wanted to get a post put up quickly before I leave.

 

Doing What I Can…

Tags

Confessions in the Mural, different things, happiness, Life, near death experiences, new things, stress, what we want, worry, Writing

I sat down Sunday morning to write my blog post and I just couldn’t.  I didn’t know what to write.

I feel like my life has been turned upside down with all that has happened.  I’m still trying to figure out which end is up and how I get back to being upright!

And through it all, I have felt so incredibly lonely and lost.  I mentioned to someone that it’s like the stories you hear from those who have had near-death experiences–that they realize there’s more to life than what they’ve been living… work and constant stress.  That there should be happiness.  Most of us can’t have that because we can’t afford that!

I had already realized that I want different things, NEW things; things that make me happy rather than fulfill a need (but we all need a certain amount of that don’t we?).

I have been in the same job for ten years.  For many, that’s unheard of!  I am proud of myself for that accomplishment but I keep having that unsettled feeling.

I have talked about what I want multiple times here.  I have talked about how much more difficult it is to make the change.

I hate that I am as nervous about all the possible changes as I am.  I wish I was one of those people who could take everything in stride and let it roll off my shoulders.  I’m just not.  I wasn’t born that way.

When I have a job interview I think of all the things down the road, like how I would tell my boss.  Never mind whether I actually get a job offer or not!  I worry way too much, way more than I should and probably way more than is healthy.

But I haven’t had time to do so many things lately.  My eight hour days are turning into ten hour days and I’m tired all the time.

I can’t even focus on writing!  So what I’m going to do is start working on the edits for Confessions in the Mural and see, once and for all, if I can swing my head back around.  I got it out on Sunday and haven’t had a chance to even look at it.

I will keep you posted!

I’m done…

Tags

Algonquin Park, camp nurse, communication, I'm done, Life, life lessons, life lessons into writing, marriage, reading is escape, real life into writing, reality, verbal abuse

I was young when I met the man I later married.  I was naive.  We all are at one point in time.  We got married and I never really noticed there were issues until my daughter was born.  When I was told, twice, that I wanted her, in her first six months of life I wondered how and if this was going to work.

Three and a half years later, I kicked him out.  He had become verbally abusive and controlling.  It wasn’t until I spent the summer of 2001 in the middle of Algonquin Park as camp nurse that I realized what was happening.  I was able to look in on the situation.  In early January 2002 I ended it.

It’s difficult for me, even now, to trust and not fear that someone might start to take advantage in the same way.  I don’t want to end up there again.  Sure, communication is key with the right person.  The wrong person won’t want to hear it.

We all have life experiences and we all add those things, or in my case subtract them, to our writing.  We can’t help it.  In my writing, I don’t want my characters to be abusive.  People read to escape.  If they wanted reality they’d watch the news.

What happens when something similar is happening all over again?  And what happens when it’s someone you thought you could trust?

I know I have been sharing a fare bit of unhappiness lately and it just keeps getting worse instead of better.  I’ve been putting off the inevitable for over a year.  It’s unfortunate that it’s the time of year that it is.

Anyway, I thought I might be able to hang in there but I think it’s time for me to revisit Algonquin Park.  I’m sorry this is cryptic, it is what it is but, right now, I need it to be!

It’s Game Time!

Tags

ACLS, baseball, Christmas, flu shots, Life, mini-memoir, negativity, stress, time to write, Toronto Blue Jays, vacation, vacation over, work, Writing, writing found

We now move forward to the Championship series!  Toronto plays Cleveland and, obviously I hope we win.  In fact, based on all the booing that was going on when the Jays were introduced just now, I hope we crush them!!  I also hope we sweep the win again.  It’s so stressful!

As for the writing… I found it!

What was lost has now been found.  It got mixed in with my daughter’s school papers.

I think she planned that.  I don’t think she wanted mom working on the mini-memoir.

But I am extremely unhappy from the perspective that my vacation is OVER.

In three days I go back to work.  I have had an awesome week between the writing and the day trip and being able to sleep in.

I know I have the weekend to go yet and my daughter is going to the trailer with my parents so I can continue on through the weekend but still.  Now I won’t get any extra days off until Christmas.

Then I don’t know how long it will be until I take vacation days again.

Then I will really start to feel the stress building up.  The inability to write except Wednesdays and weekends.  The feeling of being trapped, basically, into a work week.  The lack of energy I feel at the end of a work day.

Okay, I’m going to shake off the negative thoughts and just be for the next couple of days yet.

Oh yeah, and when I get back, it will be the kick-off to flu shot season… Great!  Just what I needed!

Sorry to cut this short but it’s game time!

Play ball!

Change is in the air…

Tags

back to school, backstory, challenge, change, character backstory, character development, characters, Creative Writing, Life, life experience, milestones, Writing

Reminds me of that old song Love is in the Air by don’t-ask-me-who!  Same tune going through my head.

I know I wrote last week about my emotional breakdown on the verge of my daughter starting college and that still holds true.  How can we not be sad but happy about the milestones of life?  They happen to each of us from when we are born and say our first words to taking our first steps.  Then some of us go to preschool, others not, but then there is school.  Kindergarten, grades one through eight, then we venture off to high school.  We decide what we want to be (sometimes), we go on our first date.  We often experience our first kiss and then we graduate.  We move on to higher level education (sometimes) or full-time jobs.

All are milestones and all create the base for who we become.

Tomorrow my baby takes her first steps into that post-secondary education.  I hope she likes it.  I hope she enjoys what she’s learning and it comes easily to her.  After last year, she deserves that!  It’s going to be tough because she will be adjusting to that, she’ll be adjusting schedules so she can still see her pony and she’ll be needing part-time work–or a few more lesson hours.  All of this in a very short time frame.

She’s going to meet new people and try to find the balance between her old friends, her barn friends and the new friends.  I think that will be incredibly difficult for her because she has such a huge heart.  She wants all these friends in her life.  I didn’t have that really because my boyfriend was also friends with my high school best friend.  The rest of my high school friends ended up going their separate ways.  We are all connected now on Facebook but how many years did that take?  My college friends were pretty well merely that.

So wherever you are and whether you have kids or not, know that tomorrow is a big day for hundreds of thousands of kids around the globe.

And if you feel like it, write a bit about your own milestones.  What makes you the person you are today.  Maybe you don’t want to but just think how awesome a backstory it would give one of your future characters!

Life Goes On…

Tags

Creative Writing, death, death of a pet, emotions, fueling writing, lessons, Life, life goes on, life lessons, price jumps, ups and downs, Writing

It was a TV show and a song but holds true for many of us as we struggle through the ups and downs of life.

On Thursday evening, after a 4 month battle we lost one of our guinea pigs… Boo.  She was diagnosed with TMJ in February and given pain killers and an anti-inflammatory.  We almost lost her until the nurse in me did some research and discovered that it was okay to give a guinea pig (like most animals) aspirin.  I even found the dose.  We started giving it to her twice a day and she thrived!  She gained weight, she was squeaking again… a happy piggy!  Then her top teeth started growing backwards but we noticed too late.  We were going to try to trim them but just this past week she seemed to get very sick.  She lost a ton of weight and after we managed to get one of the teeth out, she passed away later in the evening.

My daughter was devastated but so was I… I had been the one administering meds twice a day for a long time and got quite attached to that gray and white little one.  And many have, and will, say that they are “just rodents” but then they have likely never had a small animal as a pet.

So we went from the high of prom a week ago to the loss of a pet.  Life goes on and it’s not fair.

I also managed to get nothing done!  I need ink cartridges for my printer before I can print camp signs so Wednesday I went to Staples to get them and had to pick my jaw off the floor!  I know it was fall when I bought them last but they jumped in price by $20!!! Yes, that deserves all those exclamation points!

I was shocked!  So I decided to use 123 ink cartridges after all.  I know I got the off-brand but they were $41.99… I didn’t even look at the brand name cost… after that price jump they don’t deserve my business!  Of course shipping is free after $49 so I got a cartridge for my rarely used laser printer as I had to shake the cartridge with the last use.  All together, including tax was $12 less than what I would have paid at Staples… but I have to wait for them to arrive.

I tell you all this because as writers, life really does go on.  But it’s also life going on that feeds us what we need to be writers.  Whether I write the story of losing that guinea pig or I write fiction using the feelings from that loss doesn’t matter but it has fed my writing.  Same goes for the high of prom and the frustrations of $20 price jumps!  All of those emotions, whether good or bad, fuel what we write.

There is a lesson in all of it! (Now if only I could remember that when I get frustrated with other things!)