Happy New Year, 2017


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I hope this morning finds all of you well and not too hungover!

We have jumped into a New Year, a second later I believe it was… I didn’t read the article, I just saw the headline!

As you know, I have been working overtime on Confessions in the Mural to get it ready to publish.  Well, I did it!  I got all my Chapter spacing done and have uploaded it to Lulu!  Here’s the link to have a look…

I will get the Kindle version done probably in the next week but I do have to focus on trying to get class planning done as teaching starts on the 18th!  Now I’m getting nervous!
I hope you all have a great New Year’s Day, don’t eat too much, I will be!

Onward to a New Year


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I thought of writing on Christmas but, as per usual, it ended up a pretty screwed up day.

With the close of a year, it’s sometimes a good idea to reflect on the last year.  What have we accomplished?  What passed and what failed?

For me I worked on Confessions in the Mural and I have successfully finished it!  All I have left to do now is go through the publishing process.  I hope to do more of that tomorrow and then get it done on Sunday… a brand new novel for a brand new year.

I think what sticks out in my mind was my attempt to write daily blogs for 30 days that extended to 60 days.  That was quite an accomplishment for me… just the undertaking itself.

Closer to the end of the year I accepted a part-time teaching position with Conestoga College.  Of course I also signed up as a Wellness Advocate for doTerra Essential Oils and though I might mention a few things here or there I won’t inundate this blog with that.  I have created another blog for that journey.

Of course there was the down side… our horse being so sick we almost lost her twice in four days.

The New Year will bring challenges as well as I received some unsettling news after being to the doctor.  Time will tell.  My emotions are up and down with that.

So, to each of you, I wish you a very Happy New Year!  All the best in 2017!

I will post the publishing information as soon as I successfully get the book published!

Final Draft


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It’s been a busy couple of weeks.  I sat, again, last week to write a post and a) couldn’t come up with anything and, b) Ran out of time.

Last weekend I was in the midst of preparing for a job interview that I had on Wednesday.  It was an interview as well as a mini-teach.  I was really nervous but once I got going it was just like I’d never left the front of the classroom!

On Thursday, at the end of the day, 4:56 to be exact, I got the job offer.  I am now part-time instructor (associate faculty) in the Continuing Education business department for the Medical Office Practices program at Conestoga College!  It has all happened so fast but I’m thrilled!  It’s a little overwhelming too, I have to admit, to be teaching again but mostly I feel excited!!

As for Confessions in the Mural, well, it’s done.  I entered the last of my edits yesterday and just finished printing it off and putting it into the binder.  I will go through and review it looking for spelling and grammar mistakes and checking on punctuation.  There were two sections I added in that have not been edited at all so I will also make sure I get all that covered.

This amongst all the Christmas preparations… finishing shopping, wrapping and getting all the cards finished.  I am finding I am extra emotional this Christmas because of our experience with the horse.  I haven’t been as motivated to tend to the gift thing because all I wanted for Christmas is now hanging with her friends in a field at the barn!  It has given me that perspective on Christmas that I never fully understood.  The miracle that prayer and love can bring.

So, since Christmas Day is on Sunday, I will very likely not get a post in next week.  Maybe I still will, I don’t know.

But I extend the all the magic of the Christmas Season to you!

Amazing… simply AMAZING!


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I have actually done something!

In the last 24 hours, I have edited over 100 pages of Confessions in the Mural.  This is HUGE!!

I have also come up with the title for another book, I just haven’t figured out whether it will be a sequel, have a sequel or be a stand-alone.

Lastly, I finally managed to get back into Amazon and arrange to have some free giveaways!

I have been exhausted.  It has taken most of my strength to get out of bed.  That leaves little to focus at work and on the stuff that I want to do at home.  It means that it’s almost impossible to try and focus on anything in an evening once I’m home.

In the last week, seven days, I have written THREE to-do lists.  I’m slowly crossing things off each one but not nearly fast enough.

I also want to get into the Essential Oils.  I have been wearing Frankincense on my bracelet all week.  Though there hasn’t been a huge impact on my back pain (it’s chronic so nothing will get to it) it has seemed to boost my spirits… despite the fatigue.

I want to start a blog about my journey through all this.  Especially once I get more oils than I have and can really start commenting on the effects of this one or that one.

Slow and steady wins the race, or so I keep being told.  In some things, if I moved any slower it might not even get done by Christmas so I need to just step up and work through the pain and fatigue.

So here are the links for where to get my FREE Kindle books.  The US site is the first for each book and the bottom is the Canadian site.  They are available Saturday and Sunday this weekend and Friday, Saturday and Sunday next weekend.

They are:

Mystery in the Attic: https://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Attic-Pamela-Clayfield-ebook/dp/B01N582XBT/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1481228121&sr=8-2&keywords=pamela+clayfield


The Writing on the Wall: https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Wall-Mysteries-Past-ebook/dp/B01MEFJENX/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481228121&sr=8-1&keywords=pamela+clayfield


I think I’m going to see if I can pack a few more things into my evening!

Better Late Than Never


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I am once again having difficulties finding time to do anything!

It is that time of year and I find myself trying desperately to get ready for Christmas ahead of the rush.  Buying gifts, sorting things out, writing Christmas cards and wrapping… I hate wrapping!

Plus, the last few days I have been in an incredible amount of pain.  Again.

It is on those days that I can only wonder so many things… One of the questions that tends to repeat itself is whether someone would want to look after me if I have difficulties looking after myself when my spine reaches the point where it doesn’t want to function anymore.

Anyway, the horse is doing well… knock on wood, three times.  They had another good lesson on Friday night though she was a bit sluggish yesterday… I can see that though.

Life is very slowly starting to return to “normal”.  I quote that because there is very little that most people would consider normal in our house!

But I am making plans for Christmas.  I am slowly getting shopping done.  I finally got Christmas paper to print my letters on so that is done which means I can fold them up, put them into the cards and lick the icky-tasting glue and seal them up.  Last step will be postage!

As for the essential oils, I’m still working on that.  I did go, on Wednesday evening, to learn more.  My friend and I wound up catching up as well as talking oils.  I’m seriously considering joining up to eventually sell them but, to start off, just buy some of the oils, work with them, use them and learn about them.  I can’t invest a lot of time because I can’t take more time away from my writing.

I have two brand new writing magazines that I have barely opened!  I want to take time to read those.  I also want to take time and go see the Wonders of Winter lights in Waterloo Park.  I also want to get back to editing.

I also want to go watch the new Christmas movie that’s on W channel right now.  I’ll give it a thumbs-up or -down!

Christmas is upon us…


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This is the time of year where I become frazzled but calm all at the same time.  I love the Christmas season with the lights and the decorations making everything so much more beautiful.  As an amateur photographer, it’s a great time to experiment with what works and what doesn’t!

But I always feel frazzled too as I race against time to shop for gifts and wrap them.  There is always so much preparation and then it’s over in a day.  That makes me sad.

I’m finally starting to feel a bit more normal emotionally.  That was quite the ride we were on.  I am still nervous that it will happen again.  I hope that, too, fades with time.  The horse is thriving once again and the two had a great lesson on Friday night.  Looking at our pretty palomino, it’s hard to believe that she was where she was and came home only two weeks ago.  She’s even getting way too accustomed to coming in at night!  If I (or rather my daughter) could afford it, I’d continue to bring her in at night indefinitely just to keep an eye on things.  I sit and wonder if she wasn’t brewing something like this in the weeks leading up to the big slide.  She just didn’t seem to be herself before.  She seemed to need extra encouragement to do anything.  Now, she’s in there and she’s happy and she’ll take on any challenge.  So keeping her in at night might help us to keep a closer eye on her.  On the other hand, my dear daughter can’t keep running out morning and night… at least she has the energy for it!

I finally opened the binder containing Confessions in the Mural.  I had printed the first 31 pages and gone through and edited them some time ago.  Before I finished the remainder of the manuscript.  Now I’m going back over those first pages and changing some things again… I hope, when the time comes, that I will be able to follow all my notes!

This afternoon I’m going to an Essential Oils gathering.  I’m going to make a bracelet and a roller ball and I’m not sure what I’m going to put in them, yet.  I’m thinking something to manage stress.  My pain is chronic, in my back anyway, so very little is going to change that.  But if I can reduce some of my stress levels then perhaps it will slither down and remove at least some of the pain caused by tense muscles.

I’m looking forward to it.  As a nurse, it’s always interesting to learn about something that medicine can’t always look after.  I know my boss isn’t into “holistic” methods of treatment but sometimes people aren’t looking for those addictive pain killers or antidepressants, or sleeping pills.  Another option, for me, would be to boost my mood because it’s that time of year when the old Seasonal Affective Disorder starts to creep out of the closet on me.  With the events of this month, I’m surprised I’m not feeling more depressed than I am… though I think decorating for Christmas was the mood-booster I needed, for now.  Time will tell!

Anyway, I will let you know what I learn, if I retain any of it!

Doing What I Can…


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I sat down Sunday morning to write my blog post and I just couldn’t.  I didn’t know what to write.

I feel like my life has been turned upside down with all that has happened.  I’m still trying to figure out which end is up and how I get back to being upright!

And through it all, I have felt so incredibly lonely and lost.  I mentioned to someone that it’s like the stories you hear from those who have had near-death experiences–that they realize there’s more to life than what they’ve been living… work and constant stress.  That there should be happiness.  Most of us can’t have that because we can’t afford that!

I had already realized that I want different things, NEW things; things that make me happy rather than fulfill a need (but we all need a certain amount of that don’t we?).

I have been in the same job for ten years.  For many, that’s unheard of!  I am proud of myself for that accomplishment but I keep having that unsettled feeling.

I have talked about what I want multiple times here.  I have talked about how much more difficult it is to make the change.

I hate that I am as nervous about all the possible changes as I am.  I wish I was one of those people who could take everything in stride and let it roll off my shoulders.  I’m just not.  I wasn’t born that way.

When I have a job interview I think of all the things down the road, like how I would tell my boss.  Never mind whether I actually get a job offer or not!  I worry way too much, way more than I should and probably way more than is healthy.

But I haven’t had time to do so many things lately.  My eight hour days are turning into ten hour days and I’m tired all the time.

I can’t even focus on writing!  So what I’m going to do is start working on the edits for Confessions in the Mural and see, once and for all, if I can swing my head back around.  I got it out on Sunday and haven’t had a chance to even look at it.

I will keep you posted!

I’m Back… after a week from Hell!


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And I don’t know what to write.  It has felt like forever since I sat in front of the computer to do any writing.

The last week has been hell for my daughter and I.  A little longer for me if you include my boss having a temper tantrum last Thursday.  Anyway, my daughter’s horse was rushed off to OVC last Saturday night with diarrhea.  I didn’t even know a horse could get that.
Anyway, her Lactate was up at 13 and we were told the prognosis at that level is never good.  She was severely dehydrated so they were dumping bag upon bag of fluids into her.
She was in better spirits when we finally left at 11:10 p.m.
They gave her a full hay diet the next day and she ended up colicking on them on Monday night.  At 1:30 Tuesday morning they thought they were going to have to call us to come over.  Things weren’t looking good and she was in a lot of pain.  Her colon had thickened and that is never good either.
They were calling it colitis which is usually fatal in horses because there is no treatment.
We went over and were allowed in (they have horrible isolation rules) to see her.  We cried all over her and told her that she had to fight.  They gave her Morphine at 4:00 just before we left and were told that there was one more therapy they could try to ease her through the colic.
Wednesday morning we went over expecting the worst and she was up!  They were giving her mash and she was eating.  We were still allowed in to see her and she was giving us kisses again.  We were relieved but I was hesitant to accept it.  They didn’t have to use the therapy they had talked about.  The Morphine was all it took!  We were relieved and so was the bank account.
Thankfully, she pulled through and we took her home yesterday.  She started to stress on us yesterday but then calmed down once the lights in the barn were turned off.  She would have been under lights for a week.
Anyway, it still brings tears when I think of it all.  Or maybe it’s because I feel like I’m going to break.  I’m on severe overload and can’t destress.
So that is where I have been hiding.  I haven’t written anything.  As you know this is my first blog post in a while.  I haven’t even answered emails.  I just don’t have the time, or even the patience, right now.  I’m out of focus.  I’m not sleeping great, I’m ignoring my pain but it’s definitely there by the bucketload.
I hope that soon our horse will be settled back in and we can sigh with relief, at least a little bit.  I don’t know how long it takes before you finally stop feeling anxious about whether there’s going to be a call in the middle of the night.
I’m re-stressing myself so it’s time to go.  Until next time.

Oh no! I missed one!


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Did you miss me?

By the number of likes recently, that’s a big NOPE!

Last night was my daughter’s high school graduation.  Commencement.  Meaning to start anew.  Start fresh.

What I never understood is why they wait until now to do it when you’ve already started anew.  If you choose post-secondary education then you have already started, unless you are taking a year off to save some money.

Anyway, she also got all her name change documents late last week so after graduation I had a surprise party for her to celebrate her name change.  I think she was quite happy, even though she was incredibly grumpy this morning.

Being up until midnight last night then having to get up for work will do that to a person!  That’s two people because I’m probably feeling it more than she is and… tonight is the symphony (because we couldn’t go last night) so I can’t go to bed early.  BUT… clocks roll back tonight so I hope to max out on that!

Have you noticed?  There are Christmas movies on already!  I was shocked when I saw the first one on Wednesday… but then there have been so many made that somebody somewhere probably figures they need to do something in order to get them all in over the course of the next seven weeks.

Some are good, others, not so much, but either way, it’s Christmas.  It’s that feel-good-mushy stuff that leaves just a little bit of joy in your heart even if you’re going through a lot in life… no matter what you’re going through.

It gives you hope that there are still decent people out there who are not going to take advantage of you.  Who are not going to take advantage of the good person you are.  They will appreciate you for who you are and what you do.  For your good side and your bad side.  For a sense of humour, sarcasm, laughter and tears.

I think I’m going to go finish watching that movie!

I’m done…


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I was young when I met the man I later married.  I was naive.  We all are at one point in time.  We got married and I never really noticed there were issues until my daughter was born.  When I was told, twice, that I wanted her, in her first six months of life I wondered how and if this was going to work.

Three and a half years later, I kicked him out.  He had become verbally abusive and controlling.  It wasn’t until I spent the summer of 2001 in the middle of Algonquin Park as camp nurse that I realized what was happening.  I was able to look in on the situation.  In early January 2002 I ended it.

It’s difficult for me, even now, to trust and not fear that someone might start to take advantage in the same way.  I don’t want to end up there again.  Sure, communication is key with the right person.  The wrong person won’t want to hear it.

We all have life experiences and we all add those things, or in my case subtract them, to our writing.  We can’t help it.  In my writing, I don’t want my characters to be abusive.  People read to escape.  If they wanted reality they’d watch the news.

What happens when something similar is happening all over again?  And what happens when it’s someone you thought you could trust?

I know I have been sharing a fare bit of unhappiness lately and it just keeps getting worse instead of better.  I’ve been putting off the inevitable for over a year.  It’s unfortunate that it’s the time of year that it is.

Anyway, I thought I might be able to hang in there but I think it’s time for me to revisit Algonquin Park.  I’m sorry this is cryptic, it is what it is but, right now, I need it to be!