Christmas Eve has crept up, yet taken its time through these last weeks as we’ve taken the time to prepare.
I’m in a very different position than I was a year ago and this time of year has made me reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m going. We can’t see the future but we always have hope. We can see the past and can use that, and the lessons from it, to move into the future. To try to not make the same mistakes and to not take things for granted.
For 17 years I was linked to someone who carried my heart and gave me his. I held his heart close and treated it gently and kindly despite the fact that, over that time, I knew, despite all the hope in the world, that we would never be a true WE. After all that happened this summer with him and his health it seems that stories were written in his mind that varied from the truth in mine. After being told what feelings and thoughts were in my mind and heart I had no other choice but to stop listening to it because it wasn’t true and it started to really impact my thoughts and feelings as well as increased my stress levels to the point of constant headaches.
I found myself in the arms of someone new… someone who I can have hopes about who will not be so quick to stomp on those hopes. Someone who lifts me up and holds me in high regard and who enjoys spending time with me whether we’re watching movies or sports or listening to music.
It has been such a different year this year, one that I never expected. You go into a year thinking and hoping it will be great and then the curveballs come at you! So far, though, I have been happy with the curveballs, especially the latter. The lesson I am taking from the 17 years is that I’m glad, with his behaviour, that we never did actually end up together because I think it would have been a very challenging relationship with a lot of bossiness and “my way or the highway” attitude and I couldn’t have lived with that.
So take the time to think about this year before it comes to an end. Where can you be grateful? What lessons have you learned? What changes will you make based on those lessons?
To all of you, I wish you the Merriest of Christmases. The Joy, Hope, Love and Peace the season brings to you and your families. Be with loved ones and cherish being there. You never know when they will be taken away. Appreciate the gifts you have been given because, in this life, that is truly what they are… gifts, blessings.