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As you know, I saw the specialist on Wednesday morning.  The specialist who still will not acknowledge the fact that there were malignant cells in what he removed in March.  He went over everything, bypassed my one concern and then said he wanted to wait until February and do yet another of the biopsy procedures.

That’s when I said ‘stop’.  I wanted to discuss surgery as an option.  I have not, up until now, divulged the cancer I had but will now because it’s much easier to tell the story… cervical.  So I asked about a hysterectomy because I’m in my 40s.  Not having any more babies and explained that my anxiety is out of this world and I can’t keep going from procedure to consult to procedure to consult with no real end in site and no answers.

And then what?  When HE determines that everything is okay I spend every year wondering if there are going to be bad cells turning up again?

It’s not worth it.  My family doctor had asked me why they just wouldn’t do the hysterectomy based on those first biopsy results and I explained that the specialist merely told me “we weren’t there yet”.  Well, because of my anxiety, I win… finally!

So, my message to all of you is to keep on pushing when it comes to your health.  Who knows where else cells are hiding!  So on November 16th, that’s where I will be.

Remember my asking when I would have time to read those writing magazines I bought?  Well, here it is!  Except that I did manage to read through The Writer which was very good and left me feeling good about my self-publishing!

I’m sure that by the middle of November there will be new ones out for me to get and read.  It’s also NaNoWriMo so it’ll be interesting to see if I’ll be able to sit and write!

One thing is for certain, there will be a LONG list of things I won’t be able to do and my daughter will HAVE TO step up and do a lot of it!  Laundry, vacuuming, getting the garbage out, etc.  I have a really long list of things I need to do in a month as well.  I’m even hoping to be able to get back to work part-time after two weeks… but the boss is on vacation starting December 14th so I could, essentially, be back off for that time.  We’ll see… it’s unfortunate that I have no idea how I will feel.

I will, of course, be posting between now and then, as usual!  If you haven’t signed up for NaNo yet make that happen!  Take the challenge! Write 50,000 words in 30 days!  You can do it!