Do you remember that show? Or the song? Oh-bla-dee, Oh-bla-da life goes on…
I often think of writing a post and then I don’t know exactly what I want to say. I clicked on WordPress this morning and I’m determined to write a post. I’m sure there are at least a few of you wondering!
I had a complete meltdown on Thursday night. My drives to the college this week were exceptionally long!! I don’t know why there seems to be more traffic than ever before but I also don’t care… I want it to all go away! Anyway, they decided to close a lane of the expressway so my drive home at 9:15, the one where all I wanted to do was take my 20 minute drive home and crawl into bed I was that tired, ended up being almost 40 minutes. I was SOOOOOOOOOOO angry. My anger was beyond words. I am completely and totally fed up with construction around here! I have been dealing with it and detouring around it for FIVE LONG YEARS and it still isn’t letting up!! I shared a few words with my daughter and obviously the cat was picking up on my mood. When I was going to do my stretches, he attacked my arm… claws, teeth, and then flew off the bed knowing he was going to get it!
I gave up chasing him through the house when he ducked behind the couch. I carried my weary and, now battered, body back upstairs where I couldn’t find band-aids and I just said the hell with it!! Who cares anymore and in a crumpled pile I ended up on the floor crying, no, probably weeping in frustration and anger. My daughter came running and joined me on the floor where she just let me get it all out. I hate my job (not teaching), I hate the region in which I reside and I hate my life. She barely spoke. She just listened. I explained that I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning to go to work; I don’t want to leave the house. My home had become my refuge, my safe place, and I don’t even want to go to my parent’s house these days.
I cried until there were no tears left. I felt better and slept better. I felt more relaxed at work until one more thing happened to annoy me.
Yesterday I stole away and went to the office and faxed off more than half a dozen resumes. Friday evening I applied to a job that I had never thought of before the ugly “C” word entered my life, even marginally. If it hadn’t, I probably would never have thought of it. Perhaps things do happen for a reason. Out of everything I have thought of and all the job postings I have searched for, I think that’s the one I’d like to do most of all if I’m going to stick with nursing.
I’ve been trying to stay in touch with the writer in me. I continue to journal almost every day. I found 2 more contests I want to enter… one for a week in Scotland, one for a week in France… I don’t know which I want more!
I keep thinking about writing and I think there’s a story in there that’s almost ready to come out but I think it might end up being a week from now and the weeks that follow (vacation) where the words truly start to flow.
I was never a big fan of Forrest Gump but I think there’s truth in his line about life being like a box of chocolates.
As always, I will keep you posted on my job search and my writing… leave a comment about your writing!