The last four months, from today, have felt like a tour through hell. Four months ago I got the voicemail message that started it all!
I can’t say things started to really spiral until I got the first biopsy report and had my follow-up consult. The last 3 weeks have put me at the bottom of the pit!
Grief has consumed all of me. I know this will pass and it’s better to work through the stages then try to sweep it all under the carpet. But I don’t get a lot of time to try to get in tune with my feelings. I haven’t even felt like writing. Anything. The only thing I have taken to doing is a bit of journalling. Just my feelings on paper.
Yesterday I called Medical Records because my Pathology Report still hadn’t arrived. I’m glad I did. Apparently we were somehow left off as CC so I’m not sure what happened there. Anyway, I had to get a translation done but I saw what I needed to see… the margins are clear! That translates to: it looks like he got it all! Of course I don’t see him until May 5 but I think I can rest easier.
It’s great news but I’m on emotion overload so I can’t be as excited as I should be. I know I”ll get there and experience the feelings I’m supposed to. I want to tell everyone!
I can look at that daffodil from the Canadian Cancer Society now because we beat it.