The last four months, from today, have felt like a tour through hell.  Four months ago I got the voicemail message that started it all!

I can’t say things started to really spiral until I got the first biopsy report and had my follow-up consult.  The last 3 weeks have put me at the bottom of the pit!

Grief has consumed all of me.  I know this will pass and it’s better to work through the stages then try to sweep it all under the carpet.  But I don’t get a lot of time to try to get in tune with my feelings.  I haven’t even felt like writing.  Anything.  The only thing I have taken to doing is a bit of journalling.  Just my feelings on paper.

Yesterday I called Medical Records because my Pathology Report still hadn’t arrived.  I’m glad I did.  Apparently we were somehow left off as CC so I’m not sure what happened there.  Anyway, I had to get a translation done but I saw what I needed to see… the margins are clear!  That translates to: it looks like he got it all!  Of course I don’t see him until May 5 but I think I can rest easier.

It’s great news but I’m on emotion overload so I can’t be as excited as I should be.  I know I”ll get there and experience the feelings I’m supposed to.  I want to tell everyone!

I can look at that daffodil from the Canadian Cancer Society now because we beat it.

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