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and I can’t find a single thing to write.

It’s been a tough few weeks with the pathology & MRI results coming in and not being the best.  I go over it my head and I have so many questions.  I think I have more questions than answers and I don’t like it!

And it’s, once again, a case where it’s blocked my ability to write.  I am even struggling with this post.

How do I change my thinking so I can focus on some writing because I most certainly need the distraction!

How many posts have I put up about pushing through?  I TEACH writer’s block!  ARGH!

This last week had a few ups… on Monday I was asked by the college if I would teach Transcription on Thursdays.  I said yes and the form was sent to me and I signed it back.  Then on Tuesday I got another email asking if I would be willing to take on another class… on Tuesdays for the next level of what I’m teaching now!  It runs from May 16 to August 24.  I guess I’m at home all summer!

I’m going to be pushing it for sure teaching two 12-hour days those days.  Thankfully my day off is in the middle.  The great thing (or it should be) is that I will be taking vacation time in there so it won’t be a constant push for 14 weeks.

The only thing I’m worried about is my next procedure/surgery and the date it will fall on and the restrictions.  Missing teaching is not ideal.  I have the ability to move a class or two but I’d prefer not to.

So much is happening in my life that are at both ends of the spectrum.  I feel like I’m on the worlds largest/tallest roller coaster.  One minute I’m at the tip top and the next second I’m under the ground searching for the light.

Do you ever reach the point when there has been so much change that you just want to forget all of it?  You just feel like if there’s one more little thing it might just cause you to make that left turn into the path of an oncoming transport truck? That you want to tell everyone where to go because you really just want to be left alone with all those racing thoughts wondering about next steps and how many decisions you have to make and will you make the right ones?

That’s pretty much me at this point.  I don’t want to be alone but I have been anyway. Besides, finding people who are willing to just take me in my current state and listen to my feelings, has been a tough undertaking!

So I’m a mess!  But hey!  I managed a blog post after all!  That’s probably one of the keys to breaking down that writer’s block!