Seems to be my life story right now.
As you all know, I started this year off with high hopes for so much and I feel like right now it’s all crashing down around me.
I’m not teaching my adult class on Tuesday night… that was a HUGE let down for me considering the fact that I had two people contact me directly showing interest in the program but neither signed up. Not that two would have been enough but I feel like all the effort I put into the program to spruce it up and add in things like branding and platform could have been put elsewhere like camp or my own writing.
I feel like I’m wandering aimlessly around right now… some of you have posted encouraging comments to not give up but that feeling is pretty intense right now as I look back on the last 3 months–the entirety of this year so far and I see most things just crashing into the earth.
I feel adrift in the middle of the ocean on a raft right now. I don’t know which way to go to reach shore. Between my day job and all the things I want to do because there is the constant nagging in my gut to do so I am overwhelmed and sinking.
I look at short stories I’ve written and I feel like they aren’t any good for any publication or contest. I started writing my memoir finally and found myself writing paragraphs that I don’t know where they belong, and… my pens suck!! They keep running out of ink only to work hours later! Any suggestions on some great pens that won’t do that? These pens have never let me down like that before.
So I keep plodding on. I keep getting out of bed in the morning not that I want to these days. I’m also nursing some kind of viral bug so that’s taking a lot more out of me than I fully realize.
I really wanted to be doing the writing thing full-time by the time my boss retired and that’s just not going to happen either.
I want to say “C’est la vie” but I just can’t right now… too much has happened, and not happened. I think I need a vacation!