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I am always torn when I reach this point!

I have a Cursive class that’s going to run, I’ve been invited back to teach Adult writing and I have marked my writing camp on the calendar in ink!

Now I have to get down to the tasks of actually planning the adult class and the camp because there has been a time gap since I taught adult last and I want to add so much more to it!  The request for an advanced camp leaves me pulling new material for the kids but I have to keep it understandable at the same time… these are 10-13 year olds after all!

The feeling is incredible when I think about all of it and it just makes me want to do it all the time and I know that’s not possible either… at least not yet.

Last week I spoke of that desire to have my studio and that urge builds with each of the above.  The successes build things up to make me wonder if my studio would be viable.  Could I do it?  Could I really make a go of it?

And then there is the flip side of all of it… it means needing the time to get all the planning done and that is such a huge challenge for me.

The world of writing evolves so quickly that it’s sometimes difficult to keep up. I make sure I pick up copies of Writer’s Digest, The Writer and Poets & Writers regularly in order to keep up, or at least try.

But there is much more that I want to do and so little time to do it in and even less energy.  My back has been extra painful for the last four weeks which takes a lot of energy out of me.  I can’t sit for extended periods of time but I can’t stand either.  I think back to 2003 when my doctor explained my “condition” and told me that my spine would degenerate at a far faster rate than average and gave me about ten years.  That was up three years ago and I have to wonder sometimes.  And do I want to know?

We all have our own issues that we are battling with.  Whether temporary or permanent we all have to sit back and evaluate what it is that’s most important to us, how we want to proceed and, ultimately, how will we get there.  Taking the plunge just can’t happen.  Now is when I wish I could win the lottery and make it all happen.

Perhaps I should actually write a memoir about life with back pain… I’ll keep that in mind!