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I often wonder where my life is headed.  I look back where I’ve been and I look at where I am now.  I wonder where the road is going and I can’t help it!  So much has changed and with it I have changed too.  We all change, it’s just whether it’s for the good, or for the bad.

Perhaps I get caught up in where I’m going because I spend so much time writing the future for my characters.  They get to know, why can’t I?

I think it’s a valid question.  I think it’s fair that if they get to know, so should I!

But life isn’t written that way.  We, unfortunately, don’t get to have a sneak peak.  Our lives don’t get to unfold like movies either!

I’m always reading that we have to make our futures.  But how?  As I understand it, our lives are like the Choose Your Own Adventure books that became popular when I was about ten so my interest in them didn’t last long as I was an extremely advanced reader.  Your destiny is basically chosen.  It’s the choices that are made that make it better, or worse I suppose.  We choose our own adventures along the way.

What happens when someone else’s choice affects ours?

As writers we get to dictate all of that through our characters.  We get to choose their adventures.  I guess they don’t really know the ending either until all the events have unfolded.  Only we do.  We plan ahead and are able to make our characters fit the ending… we can give them the means to get there whereas we don’t have anyone offering us the means to get where we need, or want, to go.  We also keep what we write to a single part of a person’s life.  We only tell a small portion of the before and we wrap up that segment of their life with a neat little bow.  We don’t see if they fight and get divorced.  We don’t see if they become unemployed.  We put the story to rest at the ending and we shelve it.  We don’t think about their destiny any further because we have our own to think about.

These are the times when I wish I had a crystal ball and could actually see into it.  To see where I’m going.  I want to do so much but can’t afford it.  I want to make the extra money from my writing but can’t seem to get there either.

So as it stands, all I can do right now is choose to stomp my feet and yell IT’S NOT FAIR!