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We all have our moments and mine have been plenty lately!  I feel like I’m walking a tightrope trying to keep my emotions in check as well as everything else.  Hey, it’s Christmas, that wonderful time of year that spending money seems to be the norm.

For me, lately, it’s been much more and I believe my stress levels are the highest they’ve ever been, or at least the equivalent of where I’ve been before.  There is much on my plate, too much, and I find myself slipping off that tightrope.

What I can’t seem to express is that I’m human.  Unfortunately I have emotions and I feel pain and that hasn’t changed in a long time.  I just feel that people are less understanding.  AND I find that trying to communicate via text and email doesn’t express things the way I want them to and then they are misconstrued and blown out of proportion at the receiving end!  I also find that everyone seems to want a piece of me and I’m not sure how many pieces are left.

The construction noises next door are slowing down which means a bit more sleep for me (stress is making my night un-restful anyway) but it doesn’t seem to be making a difference.

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and even though we’ve been having great temperatures, we haven’t been having a lot of sun and since we are nearing the shortest day of the year, I come out of work into darkness… none of this helps me as I find myself thrown into a cycle of depression that’s very difficult to recover from.

So what can I do?  What can you do?  Journal!  If writing is your favourite thing, then find a nice notebook and just write about your feelings.  How are you doing?  A number of weeks ago I had to do that.  I’ve put in my application for a couple of jobs and I had to journal in the second person telling myself to smarten up!  I’m doing what needs to be done.  Yes it will be difficult to leave my “family” at the current office but the money, etc are necessities and I’m never going to get that where I am.

So do it! Take control, or try to, by just sitting and writing about it.  Tell the paper all about it.  Hopefully it will make you feel better, for at least a little while.

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